Looking about on a Thursday night, a week later.
What was I upto there ?
a little ibreebniated I'd say.
Just a little.
I have spent much of the last week preparing for my imminent vacation.
I will have 23 days with which to look about at where I am, without having to work...Most unusual, but I am looking forward to it. Something I have not done for thirteen years. A very long time. This one is needed to give me some perspective. What do I have, What do I want, Where do I want to Go? All very important questions at this stage of Life. Not too old to change and not too young as to be too foolish. Foolishness never goes away entirely.
Do I want something different from what I have ?
If I do something else, what is it and can I 'jump', as it were, without too much lag time.
Can I afford not to make as much money?
Do I really want to live in Vancouver?
Is it time in my life to just settle ?
I am not sure about much of that...
Have talked to a lot of people about what I have and seek.
Most all suggest that the seeker must continue to seek or the question will always be 'what if?'
I really hate that notion.
Sometimes, a Great Notion... title of a book by Ken Kesey, the Original Merry Prankster from the 1960's. A very good book. Somebody told me they made a movie out of it...a movie would wreck the book for me.
Diverting away from decisions that have to be made and should be made right about now. I no longer feel the need to be secure and 'have' everything. I have had a lot of everything and very little satisfies. The 'rules' that come with being able to have everything are not palletable - almost feels like a gratuitous piece of cake you have to eat - not whether you get cake, you get it alright, but you have to eat it...without objection. Choking it down.
There was a time when I felt cornered into keeping the 'career' I have built out of being the joeboy. I have learned a ton about what makes the enconomy of of me, the city, the province, and the international demand for Canada tick. We have the resources, the world wants it. We sell it out from under our feet, at what was a pittance and they came back for a lot more. The prices for everything that makes International trade run have exceeded everyone's idea of fair market value. At no time in human history were you able to pick up the telephone, call south africa and sell 1 million tons of sulphur for 700 million dollars, let alone walk into a sotre and buy almost anything, fresh, from some far off place on the gloabe. A pound of pure copper in the 90's was worth 64 cents, US. Today, almost 4 dollars. We cannot mine, nor ship it away fast enough...with that increase of value has come the increase of bureaucratic nonsense - security, paperwork and moving goal post rules, when it suits, yet no acceptance of responsibility when the rules become so oppresive, nothing moves. The chemical bath we enjoy is liquid...it must always be in motion...no motion, death. I am reminded of Ms. Ayn Rand, a political philospher and author, who through her books espoused that the rules makers are no more than mosquitos, sucking the life out of those that knew how to produce something from nothing...but the suckers did not know when enough was enough and the producers withdrew their 'services', leaving the rules makers to fend for themselves, something the mosquitos had no idea how to do without the producers. A complete breakdown of systems ocurred. When the fire was completly out, the producers returned to start all over again. Fair Trade. I am reminded of Bill Gates and Microsoft - a great widget and better initial marketing than the guy next door, to the point of overwhelming jackpot and massive consumer reliance...sued in many jurisdictions for being too good -
The population of the planet is not excessive, the population that does nothing to live within its societies is. Social programming drains the blood from the upstanding citizen, leading to ultimate submission in order to keep what they have been allowed, yet the unprogrammed can survive quite nicely, thank-you, in the darkest parts of the cities. They will take whatever the rules makers say they can have, but rarely do they have to swallow the nasty cake to enjoy it.
Someone left me a comment, it said 'boring'. Agreed. What can you really write online anymore without the prospect of a knock at the door. Objectionable content gets ruled out and washed away. Anyway, the commenter was not brave enough to identify themselves. (I have stopped the capacity to leave unidentified comments) Too bad. What is interesting ?
Jack Nicholson had the greatest line ever spoken on film and the meaning of it has been lost to the majority who will quote it with authority, emulation and conviction -"you want the truth ?"
"you can't handle the truth !"
At the end of the week when you look back on where it started and where it ended...was there any truth to it ? Integrity and Responsibility, lost to the world.
I have been able to watch movies lately - I bought a ton of em and watched them all on my impressive 13" laptop monitor...No Country for Old Men, now there is a nasty piece of work, very good, but nasty. Good Will Hunting, was impressive. Ratatouille, animated by Pixar - say no more. Apocolypse Now, Platoon, both told a story of consumers at war, jungle war, totally out of their element, yet trying to maintain an idea of sanity...no wonder that entire generation gripped the bull and ran off to get whatever they wanted - the opportunity to see their lives disappear at the pop of a gun and for what purpose(?), to give the rules makers more territory...
The rules makers come in all forms, from government through the church, through the strata council's and city hall...we all bought the ticket. Did we get what we paid for ?
It's Thursday night and tomorrow is Friday - the weekend, a break from the mudanity of it all, the options are whatever you can handle in 48 hours.
I personally think dusting is redundant. Polish it up nice and within the hour, more dust has settled on the fresh looking surface. So much dust. If the dust gets left too long, one can forget what the surface underneath really looks like. Time to polish it up and see what's under there. My Sister visited me last year, she was in town for a concert. She wrote in the dust at my home..Hi !...it's still identifiable.
Guests are coming at the end of the month, we are alll going to see Canada's Power Trio - RUSH - for the zillionth time. I even have a backstage pass for this one. Very cool thought. Although it will cut into my concert going preparations - one cannot be ibreebniated when meeting musicians that have painted pictures in your life. It's not respectful and therefore would not be good at all.
So with guests inbound, I have to clean my cave. The cave is more like a storage space for me, people give me things, I keep them, seemingly forever. Do you think that people look for those things they gave to somebody when they visit ? Do people even remember what they give away ? Nonetheless, I have to clean the cave and rid the small square footage in downtown Vancouver of some obsolete items. Stuff, too much stuff. And too much dust when that stuff is moved after years of just sitting there looking like it looks. The of course there are the living spots in the cave, the bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen...water and living things. Disinfectant is a good word. Again, sparkling and polished. For a few hours anyway. The guests will arrive and it will begin the cycle again, until the next guests arrive...Summer. Warm, warm summer...
It's about time for some clarity and direction.
A short tour out of town, a rock show and then internal contemplation, without interruption.
'so, where do we go from here, now that, all of our children are growing up and how can I take my time' - allan parsons project.
things to think about and things to leave behind, new adventure is out there->
This has been a very simple thing to produce, writing freestyle, say whatever and see what comes out, just leave it. editing is the way of the computer, but that is not how your brain works. Humans were never meant to edit their thoughts. Pure thought is lost to the ages. Too many distractions, diversions and guidelines today. New thought can be dangerous - people are afraid of what they do not want to understand.
My good friend, Dave the Sax Player, Y T, DJR, likes the term, 'fear is never boring'. I have to wonder what is fear ?
Morning - Crock.
What was I upto there ?
a little ibreebniated I'd say.
Just a little.
I have spent much of the last week preparing for my imminent vacation.
I will have 23 days with which to look about at where I am, without having to work...Most unusual, but I am looking forward to it. Something I have not done for thirteen years. A very long time. This one is needed to give me some perspective. What do I have, What do I want, Where do I want to Go? All very important questions at this stage of Life. Not too old to change and not too young as to be too foolish. Foolishness never goes away entirely.
Do I want something different from what I have ?
If I do something else, what is it and can I 'jump', as it were, without too much lag time.
Can I afford not to make as much money?
Do I really want to live in Vancouver?
Is it time in my life to just settle ?
I am not sure about much of that...
Have talked to a lot of people about what I have and seek.
Most all suggest that the seeker must continue to seek or the question will always be 'what if?'
I really hate that notion.
Sometimes, a Great Notion... title of a book by Ken Kesey, the Original Merry Prankster from the 1960's. A very good book. Somebody told me they made a movie out of it...a movie would wreck the book for me.
Diverting away from decisions that have to be made and should be made right about now. I no longer feel the need to be secure and 'have' everything. I have had a lot of everything and very little satisfies. The 'rules' that come with being able to have everything are not palletable - almost feels like a gratuitous piece of cake you have to eat - not whether you get cake, you get it alright, but you have to eat it...without objection. Choking it down.
There was a time when I felt cornered into keeping the 'career' I have built out of being the joeboy. I have learned a ton about what makes the enconomy of of me, the city, the province, and the international demand for Canada tick. We have the resources, the world wants it. We sell it out from under our feet, at what was a pittance and they came back for a lot more. The prices for everything that makes International trade run have exceeded everyone's idea of fair market value. At no time in human history were you able to pick up the telephone, call south africa and sell 1 million tons of sulphur for 700 million dollars, let alone walk into a sotre and buy almost anything, fresh, from some far off place on the gloabe. A pound of pure copper in the 90's was worth 64 cents, US. Today, almost 4 dollars. We cannot mine, nor ship it away fast enough...with that increase of value has come the increase of bureaucratic nonsense - security, paperwork and moving goal post rules, when it suits, yet no acceptance of responsibility when the rules become so oppresive, nothing moves. The chemical bath we enjoy is liquid...it must always be in motion...no motion, death. I am reminded of Ms. Ayn Rand, a political philospher and author, who through her books espoused that the rules makers are no more than mosquitos, sucking the life out of those that knew how to produce something from nothing...but the suckers did not know when enough was enough and the producers withdrew their 'services', leaving the rules makers to fend for themselves, something the mosquitos had no idea how to do without the producers. A complete breakdown of systems ocurred. When the fire was completly out, the producers returned to start all over again. Fair Trade. I am reminded of Bill Gates and Microsoft - a great widget and better initial marketing than the guy next door, to the point of overwhelming jackpot and massive consumer reliance...sued in many jurisdictions for being too good -
The population of the planet is not excessive, the population that does nothing to live within its societies is. Social programming drains the blood from the upstanding citizen, leading to ultimate submission in order to keep what they have been allowed, yet the unprogrammed can survive quite nicely, thank-you, in the darkest parts of the cities. They will take whatever the rules makers say they can have, but rarely do they have to swallow the nasty cake to enjoy it.
Someone left me a comment, it said 'boring'. Agreed. What can you really write online anymore without the prospect of a knock at the door. Objectionable content gets ruled out and washed away. Anyway, the commenter was not brave enough to identify themselves. (I have stopped the capacity to leave unidentified comments) Too bad. What is interesting ?
Jack Nicholson had the greatest line ever spoken on film and the meaning of it has been lost to the majority who will quote it with authority, emulation and conviction -"you want the truth ?"
"you can't handle the truth !"
At the end of the week when you look back on where it started and where it ended...was there any truth to it ? Integrity and Responsibility, lost to the world.
I have been able to watch movies lately - I bought a ton of em and watched them all on my impressive 13" laptop monitor...No Country for Old Men, now there is a nasty piece of work, very good, but nasty. Good Will Hunting, was impressive. Ratatouille, animated by Pixar - say no more. Apocolypse Now, Platoon, both told a story of consumers at war, jungle war, totally out of their element, yet trying to maintain an idea of sanity...no wonder that entire generation gripped the bull and ran off to get whatever they wanted - the opportunity to see their lives disappear at the pop of a gun and for what purpose(?), to give the rules makers more territory...
The rules makers come in all forms, from government through the church, through the strata council's and city hall...we all bought the ticket. Did we get what we paid for ?
It's Thursday night and tomorrow is Friday - the weekend, a break from the mudanity of it all, the options are whatever you can handle in 48 hours.
I personally think dusting is redundant. Polish it up nice and within the hour, more dust has settled on the fresh looking surface. So much dust. If the dust gets left too long, one can forget what the surface underneath really looks like. Time to polish it up and see what's under there. My Sister visited me last year, she was in town for a concert. She wrote in the dust at my home..Hi !...it's still identifiable.
Guests are coming at the end of the month, we are alll going to see Canada's Power Trio - RUSH - for the zillionth time. I even have a backstage pass for this one. Very cool thought. Although it will cut into my concert going preparations - one cannot be ibreebniated when meeting musicians that have painted pictures in your life. It's not respectful and therefore would not be good at all.
So with guests inbound, I have to clean my cave. The cave is more like a storage space for me, people give me things, I keep them, seemingly forever. Do you think that people look for those things they gave to somebody when they visit ? Do people even remember what they give away ? Nonetheless, I have to clean the cave and rid the small square footage in downtown Vancouver of some obsolete items. Stuff, too much stuff. And too much dust when that stuff is moved after years of just sitting there looking like it looks. The of course there are the living spots in the cave, the bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen...water and living things. Disinfectant is a good word. Again, sparkling and polished. For a few hours anyway. The guests will arrive and it will begin the cycle again, until the next guests arrive...Summer. Warm, warm summer...
It's about time for some clarity and direction.
A short tour out of town, a rock show and then internal contemplation, without interruption.
'so, where do we go from here, now that, all of our children are growing up and how can I take my time' - allan parsons project.
things to think about and things to leave behind, new adventure is out there->
This has been a very simple thing to produce, writing freestyle, say whatever and see what comes out, just leave it. editing is the way of the computer, but that is not how your brain works. Humans were never meant to edit their thoughts. Pure thought is lost to the ages. Too many distractions, diversions and guidelines today. New thought can be dangerous - people are afraid of what they do not want to understand.
My good friend, Dave the Sax Player, Y T, DJR, likes the term, 'fear is never boring'. I have to wonder what is fear ?
Morning - Crock.

<< Home